Samantha, Jack & Lucy

Essentially, I am a Dominant, Jack is a switch and a painslut, and Lucy is a submissive and loves to be tied up. But I came across https://bdsmtest.org which says The BDSM Test is a fun and educational test to determine what kind of kinkster you are. It was founded in 2014 with as its main mission to make a simple, accessible test to help beginning kinksters determine which labels are or aren't suitable for them; and to be a fun experience for everyone taking it, beginners and experts alike.

I've seen a few people on fetlife posting their results, and was curious about what it would say about me so I took the test. I pretty much agree with my results which were ( Dominant, Rigger, Non-Monogamous & Mistress )

I definitely call myself a Dominant and a Non-Monogamist, would pretty much call us experimental, but I wasn't sure about Mistress or Rigger as describing me. However, reading their definitions? No I'm definitely agreeing with all of those!

Dominant Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant throughout their daily life as well. Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.

Rigger Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy.

Non-monogamist Non-monogamists do not see sexuality as necessarily a 1 on 1 thing. Whether this means they will have several relationships or just see other people outside their relationship (or have even more exquisite constructions) depends entirely on the person and the situation, but they all have one thing in common: their sexuality is more than just between them and one fixed partner.

Experimentalist Experimentalists want to have tried it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features, and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered first hand experience. They often have plenty of fantasies and will actively pursue to try them out.

Master/Mistress Masters/Mistresses receive complete control over the life of their slave(s), and all responsibilities that come with it. They go a step further than dominants in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Their primary focus is to create a stable and safe environment for their slave(s), to allow optimal servitude.

So then I got Jack and Lucy to take the test!

Jack got ( Switch, Rigger, Brat, Masochist and Sadist ) and Lucy got ( Submissive, rope bunny, slave, non-monogamist and masochist )

We were all (Jack included!) very surprised that Jack got 'brat' and that Lucy had some of it in her results. I also love that even after all these years we can still learn these new things about ourselves and each other, so we're going to do some research and see if we can incorporate some of it into our play.

We've also been talking about a more 24/7 thing, especially for Lucy - things have been moving more into that way recently anyway so we're again researching and working things out. I know she's keen on it, although Jack isn't so there'll be some negotiating and laying down guidelines etc.

I sort of forgot about Dreamwidth. And really, there's not much 'sort of' in there. I completely forgot about Dreamwidth until I got an email telling me I'd got a new subscriber to this account.

None of us have updated our 'main' blogs in ages which is a shame because it's something we've all enjoyed doing, and in hindsight it's so good for our mental health, having an outlet. Especially Lucy's. And God knows we've all needed any/everything that's good for us this year.

I don't even know if there's anyone still out there but hello! As a quick re-introduction, this is the journal of (as the name suggests) a kinky and poly family - Samantha, Jack and Lucy who live in South Wales. I (Sam, aka quantumcupcakes) do most of the posting here and it's just a fun outlet to talk about some of the fun we have, some of the fantasies we have and just life in general as a poly family who enjoy kinky sex!

I am a 51 year old, cis-gender bisexual woman. I'm the Dominant of our family.
My husband, Jack, is 68 and is a switch. He describes himself as 70% submissive, 30% dominant. We first met some 23 years ago and have been married now for 16 years.
Lucy is our girlfriend, she's 42 next month and she's a submissive. We've been together for 11 years, living together for almost 10.

And, for the record, I really hate the term thruple!
I know it's the 'trendy' term to use for a relationship with three people but the terminology we use is poly triad - and it's a closed triad, we're not interested in having anyone else join us, or for any of us to have other partners. We have talked about all of this, and will continue to do so if the situation changes.

Despite being one of the kinkiest people I know, Lucy is ridiculously and adorably awkward when it comes to talking about sex, to asking for what she wants. She even gets embarrassed when we're watching a movie or a TV show and there's a sex scene in it.

She always starts off well, she always initiates the dirty talking. For example, she'll tell us we taste good or that what Jack's doing is making her crazy or that she loves what I'm doing, but then it's like she realises what she's saying or doing and gets tongue-tied and starts giggling. Yet, she's the one who'll greet me when I come home and say things like "I've been thinking about what I want to do to you tonight" or tell Jack mid-afternoon that she's not been wearing underwear all day.

It's funny because when she's lost in the scene, when she's deep in subspace and riding on the endorphins, she gets so very vocal. She moans like a fucking pornstar. Oh, and she also begs very prettily to be allowed to come!

So, naturally, one of my favourite games to play is to make her ask for everything - she wants to be touched, she has to ask. If she wants to touch us, she has to ask. And she has to be specific. Sometimes she manages to push through, sometimes we stop because it's clear she's not having fun and, yes, sometimes we miss it and she has to safeword.

I love being able to take her to her limits, that we know her well enough to be able to push her to do things she doesn't think she can do.